Then, Coldwater had merged with a small school district, and it booted them into the next sports class. Since it was now a bigger school, the game had been moved up to become the traditional season opener. Coldwater was enough bigger, now, that the Marlins usually had a tough time handling them, unless they had a really hot team.Both teams had been pretty much unable to move the ball against a tough defense, and at the end of the third, the score was six to three, with the Marlins on the short end. The Marlin's only score had come on a field goal that wasn't intended to be a field goal, just a punt, but somehow, the punter had gotten a really good kick off, and it went farther and straighter than he'd expected.Most of the game had been buck it into the line three times and kick, buck it into the line three times and kick, for both teams, and by the time the third quarter was winding down, both teams were getting a little tired when the kicking teams had gone out again. The Coldwater. "In fact," he said, "it's getting so I can't even get a full night's sleep. There I'll be sleeping comfortably with Ellie's beautiful hair spilling over my shoulder — she sleeps on my shoulder now, the way Andy sleeps on yours — when ... when I'm attacked! What is going on, anyway?"The four women returned to the room as Jack just looked at him and slowly shook his head. "Sam, have you ever heard Andy bleating about working out so she won't get killed when she's in bed with me?" Sam nodded his head. "It's unmitigated bullshit!" Jack exclaimed. "Look at me. Look at Ken Carlson. We're both big — and you certainly are, too. Sam, if we weren't, we would be dead. You see, our wives are real man-eaters. If we weren't big, we would be utterly destroyed."Jack looked thoughtful and continued, "I think it was Ken Carlson who first figured it out. He estimates that in order to survive we need to approximately double our wives' weights. Most of us don't quite make it. The girls typically run.
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